Feeling thankful for my faith

Since my previous brief run-down of life at VoH one of the boys who has lived in the unit since almost the very beginning (he was the 5th child placed here) has left us to go back and live with his family in the Eastern Cape. Of course this is fantastic for him and it is what we hope for all of the kids here, but we all miss him terribly. I am so happy for him that he is where he belongs, with loving family that are so capable of taking care of him and each other, but also feeling self-centered and very sorry for myself - I know you're not supposed to have favourites but I did have a particular soft spot for little O, and though we knew he'd be leaving his family came to collect him while we were all out helping at a local community day so it was a shock to learn he had gone. Going into his room and seeing the little name labels on his shelves and above his bed today really struck me and I truly felt that I was grieving for him, mourning the loss of him. It sounds silly and like I said, selfish, but the knowledge that he is so far away and that I am highly unlikely to ever see him again hurt me.

I was releived however, to remember an image that popped into my head in church a while back. I can't for the life of me remember what the sermon was on, or what bible verse was read, (I so wish I could!) but I was thinking about one of the kids from the townships, Jack Lee, and wondering what his future would hold, and hoping through some twist of fate I would get to see what kind of man he will become. Dwelling on this, I had this image of a banqueting table laden with food, like the kind you see in films set in ancient Greece or medieval England, where they have a real feast and everyone has a place around this long table. This could be linked in with what was being said as part of the sermon, I can't remember, but anyway, Jack Lee was standing on the other side of this table grinning at me (a sight not often seen!). And I just had this sort of revelation that it doesn't actually really matter if I see him again in this life, because I will see him in the next life, in God's kingdom, or at least I will have the knowledge of what happened to him, if he was happy. Now I am no great theologist, and I'm not about to start arguing the theories of the afterlife and heaven etc, but this sudden thought that occurred to me gave me great comfort, and it still does when I think of O, or the other children here, or anyone else I care for for that matter. I know enough to say that our dreams are not always achieved, we do not always find what we think we want or need, (including miraculous reunions!) but I find strength in the thought that even if I am never able to return to Grabouw again, it will not be the end of the bonds I have made here. Not for the first time I am grateful for my faith and how it allows me to stare into the unknown and find comfort rather than fear.

Officially the worst blogger ever!!!!

My apologies to those of you who have noticed the absense of blog posts, it is so easy to carry on with the busy day-to-day life and let these things slide! Each day is so busy and full of challenges both mental and physical that I find it hard to document the goings on without writing a novel! Plus without a particular inspiration to start with (as in previous entries) it's much easier to just let time pass and collapse into bed each night without attempting a post.

Anyway, excuses excuses! In short, life here is good. I have been doing the school run each day with our 3 eldest boys, and more recently including a previous resident of VoH, a 7 year old girl. It is never dull, quite apart from the kids picking the music and boogying along on the journey, there are usually a few extra pick-ups / errands added so every day is different! I also do a morning activity with the rest of the children at the unit (such as finger painting and song and dance time) along with my fellow volunteer and room-mate Fran. She arrived just over a month ago and we've become good friends, which is bloomin lucky considering most days our schedules are almost identical! So anyway, combine the mornings taking care of the children here with the big weekly shop for the unit, afternoon kids club on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and you've got a pretty packed week!

Of course this goes nowhere near explaining all the intricacies of working for a charity like Thembalitsha, or in a place like Village of Hope. There are ongoing issues with the children's medication, with their behaviour, trying to place them back with their families and for those who have already left we continue to monitor how they are doing back at home. Obviously I can't go into any detail without breaching confidentiality, plus I'd be here forever if I wanted to do it any justice and then I'd never get any work done! And anyway, that's just the children. The future of the Village of Hope will hopefully include projects which will benefit local youths and adults too, such as agricultural training, alcohol and drug rehabilitation - the dreams and visions of those who live and work here could expand this centre into a real beacon for Grabouw. It's just that pesky thing called funding, and the support of the local government, businesses and other NGO's that are needed to push things forward. Suffice to say it's complicated, and while I would love to delve deeper and understand more about how things run here (both in terms of the municipality and the inner workings of the charity) I know that my place is to do the more basic essential day-to-day jobs so that those already in the know can spend their time on more important matters. Besides, as they say, 'This is Africa', and as soon as you think you've solved one puzzle, the rules change, the goalposts move and although you may not be back to square one, you know you're not really on solid ground either.

P.S - Oh and some people have asked about the nickname 'Bandit' - it doesn't mean I've resorted to a life of crime to help fund VoH! I've simply had lots of fun helping with the wood chipping, and helping Arry fix the chainsaw, so between the old scar on my cheek and the chippers brand name 'Brush Bandit', the boys have come up with the latest new name for me :)