Ballymoney

There's something about revisiting old haunts. A bittersweet feeling in places that are loaded with memory - times that can never be revisited though the geography remains.

The long walk along the beach, scrambling over rocks, another stretch of sand, past the wrecked dredger and onward to the caves - the end of a long adventurous journey. Undertaken as a child it was a trek, a once-in-the-holiday expedition that would leave us tired and taking turns to ride on our Dad’s shoulders on the way back to home and tea. Today I stroll along and reach the once daunting destination in half an hour. The rocks still need to be climbed, but they are not so mountainous. The dredger is mostly gone, rusted away and washed out to sea. The caves are not so cavernous, and for many this stretch of shoreline may be a simple dog walk, good place to fish or take a dip in the perennially frosty waves. For me this place holds all the mystery and wonder of childhood summers spent with loved ones, heroes and equals alike.

It is nothing special, many would drive past without thought, or visit once and forget the name soon enough. But for my family it birthed great tomes of stories, phrases, nicknames, associations, and most importantly, a shared experience that forever binds us across time, distance and difference. This place is magical to me not because of it’s purpose or location but because of all it evokes for generations of my family – freedom, adventure, joy, friendship, family in it’s most remarkable form.

And it’s bittersweet because it couldn’t last forever – the very nature of returning means you left. People and places evolve, but the pull of memory transports people back and the place still holds traces of what it once held – wonder, love, innocence.

Each of us as different as our fingerprints...

Today I am feeling struck by the awesome and beautiful nature of God’s creativity. I’ve recently started working at a day nursery as a play assistant which is brilliant fun – I can’t really believe my luck that I’m getting PAID to have fun with little kids and encourage them to learn and grow. As part of my ongoing work training as a counsellor (only 6 months to go til I’m fully qualified, woop woop!) I’m also working with young children, but this time in a primary school one day a week doing play therapy with vulnerable children. I’m constantly reminded of how different each child is, how their characters, interests and concerns are so varied. With adults we can easily forget how unique and individual we are, when placed in categories according to age, gender, work, background, location, hobbies etc - it’s easy to feel lost in a big machine, conforming to societal norms and what’s expected of us.

I’m re-reading ‘Dibs’ at the moment, it’s a book by Virginia Axline which describes the process of play therapy so beautifully it’s not only a fantastic tool for those in the trade but also a real pleasure to read as a story. There’s a particular quote which is on my mind today and draws together all these thoughts of the various children (and adults too of course) that feature in my life. It’s about how individual we all are and how none of us can judge each other’s experiences or measure them against our own...
“For when horizons grow or diminish within a person the distances are not measurable by other people. Understanding grows from personal experience that enables a person to see and feel in ways so varied and so full of changeable meanings that one’s self-awareness is a determining factor”.

I believe in God the creator, who made each of us so incredibly unique – our looks, our talents, our hearts - and then when you add to that the individuality of human experience, it just blows me away! And that’s what I love about being a counsellor I think, it doesn’t matter what issues my clients bring to the therapy room, if they all had the same presenting issue they would still each be unique in themselves and have completely different experiences, reactions and meanings attached to that issue. Not only that but with each session they may find their feelings and responses change. And the part I REALLY love, each client finds their own path in their own time to work things out, it’s a fantastic journey to be alongside – challenging sometimes, interesting always, and hopefully, ultimately, worthwhile. And so I thank God today for each unique adult and child He’s created (including me!) with all their amazing gifts, troubles and complexities.