Today was destined to be a bad day. Waking up from a dream where I’ve stormed off from a stupid argument with one of my best friends and then end up caring for a sick child who’s lost her mother. Stuck in roadworks and then realising I’m in the red on the fuel gauge, so stopping for petrol makes me late for work, which then drags like the slowest lamest donkey plodding across a scorching hot desert. Except it’s not hot at work, it’s freezing cold because the air con is on full blast despite the fact that the office temperature is fine without. It’s July and yet it’s pleasant outside, when it’s not raining like a monsoon of course. We had a brief break from monotony when a thunderstorm was right on top of us at about half twelve, the windows shook and all the computers and lights went off momentarily, and then it was back to the trudge of the afore-mentioned mule.
The killer is I’m just biding my time here. I’m handing in my notice in a couple of weeks, and I am counting down the days!! It seems to make the days go slower, the afternoons are definitely longer. I’ve started deleting files and wrapping things up already, but without telling anyone of course – trying to make myself feel like I’m really heading towards that glorious day when I leave the office for the last time.
The best thing today was when my phone miraculously hag signal for 30secs this afternoon and a text from my best friend came through. All it included was the lyrics from a Kelly Clarkson song: “You got a piece of me, and honestly, MY LIFE. WOULD SUCK. WITHOUT YOU!!! I laughed out loud as I was immediately taken back to a sunny Sunday morning at the beginning of May when four of us were driving through the countryside, heading back home after a brilliant night out for a friend’s birthday the evening before. The song came on the radio and we were all singing along until Milly and I caught each others eye and starting singing the lyrics to each other in a ‘jokey but actually full of truth’ moment. We were laughing uncontrollably for a while as the others in the front wondered what the hell had got into us.
It’s moments like this that puncture the everyday boredom to lift your spirit and make everything seem that bit more bearable. In the grand scheme of things of course my bad day is nothing, it’s just a long line of irritations that don’t really matter. But if these little negatives can make the good moments seem that much more precious, then they are precious in their own way too.
I find myself thinking about memories and how powerful they are. The warm fuzzy feeling I still have from that lovely silly text which transported me back to such a happy moment. The new perfume I tried out yesterday that sent shivers through me with an old, familiar scent, though I still can’t place it. I’m not a rose-tinted glasses kind of girl, I like to remember things exactly how they were and I always include the bad with the good in my scrapbook style photo albums – how else can we learn and grow? But there are certain memories which will always touch my soul. Moments that were so full of joy and laughter and love and excitement that they almost become bittersweet because they cannot be revisited, only recalled.
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